they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
He did a backflip because drugs
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
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