oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
