I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
