if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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