this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
