Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
You may now shotgun with the bride
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Randomize
