I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
