From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
