did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Randomize
