Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
