There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
