No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
