Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
