the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I can text with my tongue
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
