I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize