talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
