she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Randomize