after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
