We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
