i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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