its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize