Are we in a gay sports bar?
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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