If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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