yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
