WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
