im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
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