Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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