Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Can I color on your dick again?
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
