dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
