we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
