i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
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