Porn is love you can see.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize