Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
