Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Randomize
