No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
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