no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
