My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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