The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
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