I'm lost and stupid without you.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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