Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Randomize