It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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