i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
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