So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
