i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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