chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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