i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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