he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
