I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Randomize
