i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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