I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Randomize
