perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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