you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Randomize
