wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Randomize
