There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Randomize
