dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
