my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
i think my cat just said my name.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Someone signed my nipple.
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