If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
