I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
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You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
