I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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