is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
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