I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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