That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
