It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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