so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
