He is an equal opportunity slut.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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