So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
