There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
