I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
