Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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