WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
There r osticjed everywhere
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
