I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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