Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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