I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize