thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
