I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Be still, my beating vagina.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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