His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
