you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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