Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I party with great urgency now.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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