We won't sleep together?
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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