it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
