He asked to "fluff my boner.."
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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