Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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