god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
